


Zeroth.Dec31

by Munna_DreamBall, Wind_Me_Up (Munna_DreamBall)



Series: Zerothverse [2]
Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Facial trauma (not shown), Gen, New Years Eve, YouTube Video
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munna_DreamBall/pseuds/Munna_DreamBall, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munna_DreamBall/pseuds/Wind_Me_Up
Summary: It’s New Years Eve, and the bots and humans alike are celebrating. If they only knew what was coming.
Series: Zerothverse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610794
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	1. The Adventures of Lil’ Steve - New Year’s 2020 Special (Lil’ Steve, The Spine)

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not saying I obsessively watched the Lil’ Steve adventures to try to get his character right, except that’s exactly what I’m saying.
> 
> Poor Spine just wants to Tweet, dammit.

The video began with Lil’ Steve, wearing a tiny party hat over his bandana.

“This is Lil’ Steve, coming at you from WALTER MANOR! It is New Years Eve, and not just any New Years Eve, it is New Years Eve before the new decade begins! The ROAAAAAARING TWENTIES! WOOHOO! I’m so excited, I’m so excited, dananana~ Ijusthopetheydon’tbanalcoholagain.” 

“Lil’ Steve, for crying out loud! This is a family channel!” The Spine cried offscreen. 

The living puppet bounced up and down eagerly, ignoring him. “Alright, let’s go see what the others are doing!”

The scene changed, showing Spine himself, sitting on the divan and looking at his phone.

“Psst. Spiiiiiiine.”

The silver robot grimaced, clearly trying everything to not look up.

“Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.”

“Did you hear that?” Spine asked nonchalantly, and Lil’ Steve let out an exaggerated gasp.

“That’s coooooold, bro. Cold. Buh-luh-ded.”

A pause.

“Come ooooon, at least say Happy New Year to the fans! PLEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE?!”

Spine, despite himself, chuckled and looked up, waving to the camera. “Hi everyone! The Spine here. From all of us at Walter Robotics, here’s to a Happy New Year!”

“YEAHHHHHHHHHH! That’s what I’m talking about, alright! Let’s go bug Rabbit now!”

“I think she’s charging, Steve.”

“DON’T CARE! Dananananananana~”


	2. Since When Could The Plushies Talk?! (Rabbit, Big Steve)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be honest, this would totally happen in canon probably.

Thing is, Rabbit wasn’t charging. She was hosting a New Years cocktail party for all her stuffed animals. Except the cocktails were on fire. Don’t question it, this is Rabbit we’re talking about.

“ **ROARING 20’S, GUYS!** We’re gonna cut our hair short, and have cigarette holders, and wear flipper dresses, just like seals!”

The animals, somehow, all whooped in inebriated excitement. Lil’ Steve entered, accompanied by a very reluctant and very tired Steve.

“Can I go to bed after this? I’m exhausted...”

“Hellooooooooooo, ladies! How are ya doing tonight?” The living puppet asked flirtily.

“Ohhhh my gosh, Lil’ Steve, get OUT. No boys allowed!” The rabbit plushie cried. 

“Yeah, bustah! No boys allowed! Get outta heah!” The hare plushie added in her Joisey accent. The other plushies shouted their agreement. 

Steve froze in terror, slowly backing away. Did the plushies just talk? _Were the plushies alive?!_

“D...Did you just... D-did you just talk?” And he promptly ran out of the room, screaming.

Lil’ Steve watched him go, confused. “Geez, it’s like he’s never seen a woman with an opinion before! Anyway, see ya later, ladies!”

“BYE, LIL’ STEVE!” They all said as he took his leave. It cut to him skipping down the hall.

“Welp, Big Steve’s gone. Up next, we’re gonna go find Zer0! Awww yeah! Zer0, Zer0, he’s a hero~”


	3. The Basement Dwellers (Zer0 and Beebop)

It cut to a dimly lit staircase that Lil’ Steve was slowly descending. The concrete walls echoed ominously with the loud, rhythmic stomping of metal feet and upbeat electropop music, gradually getting louder the further down he got. 

“Well guys, it took me while, but I think I found Zer0. Y’see, Beebop can’t exactly, uh, leave the basement, because he’s huge. I mean, huge. Ever wonder why he can only help out at shows via a screen? That’s why. Anyway. He and Zer0 must be playing DDR, they like to do that because they’re **NERRRRRRRDS**! Now I just... Gotta go down this... Brrr! Spooky staircase.” 

“Aye, aye, aye, I’m your little butterfly! Green, black and blue make the colors in the sky~” Zer0 could faintly be heard singing as Lil’ Steve reached the bottom and began to walk down the hall towards the source of the sound. Beebop was singing too... Or trying as best as he could, with his monotone voice. CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG. 

“Woo! They are GOING at it! Just listen to them!” 

Lil’ Steve arrived at a set of double doors to the left, pulling a rope specially put there for him to open them. No longer was the music and clanging muffled, and as he entered the massive room, Zer0 and Beebop came into view. The living puppet panned the camera to the left, where Zer0 was, then upwards so the viewers could better see the massive robot beside him, who had his own custom built dance pad to accommodate his coffee-table-sized feet.

“Aye aye aye, aye aye aye, aye aye aye, WHERE’S MY SAMURAI!” And for their big finishes, the pair jumped up in the air and twirled. When they landed, the floor and ceiling shook.

“WOAAAAAHHHHH! That was awesome, guys!” 

Zer0 grinned. “WOO! That was a workout! Heya, Lil’ Steve!” He raised an eyebrow, “Where’s Big Steve?”

“Ahhh, who knows. He got spooked.”

Beebop squatted down so he could talk to them easier. “This event has been occurring quite frequently, lately.”

“Yeah, I dunno what his deal is. Maybe he’s having a bad batch of visions again or somethin’... ANYWAY! So are ya excited for New Years?!”

“OH BOY, AM I!” Zero shouted gleefully, jumping up and down like a little kid.

“I still fail to understand why the Earth rotating around the sun is so fascinating. It is merely a fact of existence.”

Zer0 raised up his index finger. “Awww, c’mon, Beebop, don’t be like that. This isn’t just _any_ New Year!” 

“Yeah, Beebop! It’s the start of a NEW DECADE!”

“This still fails to excite me. Perhaps if it were 1999 again, and we were fearing the phenomenon known as ‘Armageddon’, I may be interested, as this is a rare occurrence.”

Zer0 laughed. “Oh Beebop...”

“Beebop, dangit, you sound like Sarah Connor! Or... Something. Idunnook. S-Shut up. Bye!” It cut away from the confused faces of the robots, back to the stairs. 

“Well, that’s Arnold... Swiss Cheese... and Zer0! Now to go find _**PETE**_! Dododo, gonna find Pete, dododo, gonna find Pete~”


	4. Blue Matter: Not Even Once (Peter Walter VI)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, the AU’s true nature begins to slowly poke through to the surface...

It cut to Peter Walter VI’s bed, which Lil’ Steve was sitting on. “I found Pete, guys. But, uh, he’s washing his face right now. I can’t show you him. Not that he’s, you know, insecure or anything like that, but... you know. Kiddos are watching. Don’t wanna get flagged.”

“Right!” Peter agreed offscreen. “Seriously, though, my face is not pretty. At all.”

“It. Is. _Nasteh lookin’_.” The living puppet shook his head in disapproval.

“Disgusting.”

“Horrifying.”

“Something only a mother could love. Love you, mom.”

“So, Peter. Describe to us what you’re doing, since I can’t show our lovely viewers.”

“Well, right now I’m disinfecting it with some alcohol wipes. After that, I’ll pat it with a wet towel I’ve got right here, then I’ll put on clean bandages and then my mask.”

“And is it true that you gotta do this every. Freaking. Night?”

“Every. Freaking. Night. I hate it so much. Ow!”

Lil’ Steve suddenly turned serious. “You ok?” 

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. Just... Just pressed a little too hard,” The scientist replied, voice a little shaky from pain.

“Ok, lemme know if uh... I need to get Norman. Ya know.”

“Thanks, Lil’ Steve. Almost done!”

“A’ight.” Lil’ Steve returned to his usual goofy self, beginning to rock back and forth on the mattress. “Hadodo, waitin’ on Pete, hadodo, dododo, dododo dodo dodo! ...So, Peter.”

“Thaaaaat’s me. What’s crackin’?”

“Are you excited for the ROARING 20’s?”

“You bet your tiny yarn head I am!”

“Alright, that’s what I like to hear! We’re gonna... We’re gonna gel our hair, go see picture shows...”

“Go to the soda fountain... Wait, no, that’s...”

The living puppet gasped like his human friend had committed a grave sin. “ **PETERRRRRR**!”

“ **I’M SORRY!** ” 

“ **THAT’S THE 50’S, PETERRRRRRRRR!** ”

“I’m so sorrehhhhhhh... DONE!” There was the clinking of a buckle, then the camera suddenly flipped around to reveal a newly masked Peter VI. 

“AYYYYY, THERE HE IS!”

Pete straightened one of the straps of his mask and waved happily to the camera. “Hello, all!”

“And that’s Peter Walter, everybody! Give our golden boy a round of applause!” Lil’ Steve hopped down and began to totter off.

“W-wait-what-“ The blonde laughed in shock, “Where are you going?! Leaving so soon?!”

“I said I was gonna show you to ‘em. I didn’t say _how long_ I was gonna show you to ‘em!” 

After a moment of stunned silence, Peter groaned in exasperation, mumbling, “And this is why I hate lawyers...” 

“See you arouuuuuuund~” The living puppet singsonged, skipping away. Along the way, he passed Marshmallow, who meowed and tilted her head curiously.

“...I really really reallyyyy hope she doesn’t mistake me for a toy again... Eugh.”


	5. Mom: We Have The Shining At Home (David and Bunny)

It cut to him walking down a hallway. “Hadodo, walkin’ down the hall, hadodo, walkin’ down the h-“ Lil’ Steve suddenly stopped walking and singing. The camera flipped, revealing a pair of twins, a man and a woman, wearing fancier variations of the Walter Worker uniforms, walking towards him. They were holding hands, and their footsteps were in perfect sync, like they were in an army on the march. And as they got closer, one could quickly pick up that this wasn’t the only thing that was off about them. Their skins were white as printer paper. Of course, one’s skin being bleached by long term blue matter exposure was practically a rite of passage for Walker Workers, but even then, there was a blue tint. With these two, it was nothing. Just plain white. The man was wearing a black eye mask similar to the ones harlequins wore, and his sister’s cheeks had black dots on them. And finally, their expressions were unnaturally still, like they were walking statues; the man was scowling, the woman was smirking. They both stopped at the same time, looking down at Lil’ Steve. 

“MATTER MASTER DAVID BENNETT AND MATTER MISTRESS BUNNY BENNETT. Why are you up here, huh? Huhhhhh? Are you mayhaps, **PLANNING EVIL**?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” David asked, and another odd thing became apparent about him then; his voice sounded distorted, like his head was underwater.

“That’s exactly something ANEVILPERSONWOULDSAY!”

Bunny put her free hand over her black lips, noiselessly giggling.

Lil’ Steve made an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. “I’ll find out what you mooks are planning, and then I’ll tell Pete, and I’ll be a hero. Lil’ Steve will become SUPER STEEEEEEVE! And Big Steve will be my sidekick.” 

“Heh, like Steve would ever agree to that.”

“Shut up David. Don’t make me play my hit 2013 single ‘Shut Up David’. I will do it.”

David just snickered. “You and what army?”

“...Uh... I don’t have an army. BUT I DON’T NEED ONE. I am SUPER STEVE.” He turned to the camera.

“...YOU SAW NOTHING.” He then headbutted it, “ _ **HYAGH!**_ ”


	6. Notice

In light of the revelations about Michael Reed and Steve Negrete, I’m closing this series and rewriting it with Steve replaced by an OC, due to his original significance in the storyline being too great to just remove him.

Pedophilia will not be tolerated here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More info, courtesy of David: https://www.reddit.com/r/steampoweredgiraffe/comments/hov4p2/concerning_michael_reed_and_steve_negrete/


End file.
